I've done it. Didn't want to. Wasn't gonna. I was practicing "Attachment Parenting" to the best of my ability at the time with every intent not to spank. But before she was four, my daughter had been spanked more times than I had in my lifetime. Even though I was technically a spanker, I really did try every alternative. My preference was still not to spank.
Now I understand the biblical perspective, but after talking to the ladies at www.gentlechristianmothers.com and www.aolff.org, I found out about Christ's love for us without using a literal "rod" to get his point across. Honestly, I haven't studied this thoroughly. But even if you tell me that as a Christian I am commanded to spank my kids, I will not do it (that is, I will not make a decision to do it regularly). Why? Because I don't have a handle on how to beat/punish my kids in a loving, Christ-like way. It's an oxymoron, isn't it? Plus, I have anger issues and I don't trust myself. After my son was born, I had postpartum depression, and the surge of hormones through my body rendered me incapable of making responsible decisions regarding forceful physical handling of my daughter.
I don't get it! I was not beaten as a child. I was spanked, in as loving a way as it can be done, a handful of times. I remember what each time was for, which they say is good. My close friend and mentor is very loving and structured with her kids when she spanks them. And she does it as often as necessary. She feels it is a command. But I am not able to detach emotionally when I have to deliver the spanking.
So here I am, a non-spanking-minded occasional spanker. What??? I've discovered so much about punitive parenting, and how so much of what I do is just that, and it doesn't actually accomplish much. I'm far from free of all the toxicity, but I'm doing the best I can. I am totally supportive of people who choose not to spank (though I respect each parent's choice, understanding that they are likely carrying out God's will in their lives), and I am of the non-spanking mindset, really trying not to practice punitive parenting. But, boy is it hard! I am constantly learning and striving to be more Christ-like.
Now I understand the biblical perspective, but after talking to the ladies at www.gentlechristianmothers.com and www.aolff.org, I found out about Christ's love for us without using a literal "rod" to get his point across. Honestly, I haven't studied this thoroughly. But even if you tell me that as a Christian I am commanded to spank my kids, I will not do it (that is, I will not make a decision to do it regularly). Why? Because I don't have a handle on how to beat/punish my kids in a loving, Christ-like way. It's an oxymoron, isn't it? Plus, I have anger issues and I don't trust myself. After my son was born, I had postpartum depression, and the surge of hormones through my body rendered me incapable of making responsible decisions regarding forceful physical handling of my daughter.
I don't get it! I was not beaten as a child. I was spanked, in as loving a way as it can be done, a handful of times. I remember what each time was for, which they say is good. My close friend and mentor is very loving and structured with her kids when she spanks them. And she does it as often as necessary. She feels it is a command. But I am not able to detach emotionally when I have to deliver the spanking.
So here I am, a non-spanking-minded occasional spanker. What??? I've discovered so much about punitive parenting, and how so much of what I do is just that, and it doesn't actually accomplish much. I'm far from free of all the toxicity, but I'm doing the best I can. I am totally supportive of people who choose not to spank (though I respect each parent's choice, understanding that they are likely carrying out God's will in their lives), and I am of the non-spanking mindset, really trying not to practice punitive parenting. But, boy is it hard! I am constantly learning and striving to be more Christ-like.
No comments:
Post a Comment